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Friday, 21 May 2010

Team Grumpy accused of systematic Leffe abuse

Team Grumpy received a long and detailed email denouncing Team Grumpy as organising "institutionalised energy drink abuse". The long, rambling and frankly incoherent email specifically named 'Grumpy' Art Vanderlay as the team member who actively promoted the consumption of what became the official team energy drink, Leffe. Over several seasons which many would characterise as "under-achieving", consumption of Leffe has long been suspected as the agent responsible for poor performance, inadequate technical preparation, and general loss of enthusiasm. One might take as examples both Team Grumpy outings in the 2010 season.

Bizarrely, low consumption has also been blamed for Team Grumpy's disastrous first appearance at the Duo Normand, due to early onset of cramp.

It is thought that the email originated from one member of Team Grumpy in particular. Wild accusations of excessive Leffe consumption by other cyclists not associated with Team Grumpy are thought to be exaggeration and an example of mental disorder. Specific occasions of "Leffathons" are particularly mentioned.

Finally, considering the accusation of institutional Leffe abuse, it is astonishing that the team management escape accusation entirely.

2 comments:

ιŸ‹δΊŽε€«ζˆ said...
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Art Vanderlay said...

Well, there was this Belgian chap - johan something or other. He told me he would show me how to use Leffe safely. He showed which shape of glass worked best and how to pour it so that it had just the right ammount of head on it. He also suggested storing it in a refigerator. Apparently, this way it retains its character.

Trouble was that after the Leffe, other Belgian 'products' just became irresistible. Next thing, I was getting 'special' parcels arrive through the post with the magic letters 'be' on them. Each one contained yet more rare Belgian doses. My hallway is full of them as I write this: some are fruity, others claim to be dubel or tripel. There are blonds and bruns and all manner of things to tempt an aging cyclist ...

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