Pages

Sunday, 1 January 2012

NYD '10': Grumpy Bob takes heed of rules 1 and 5, takes the win.

Grumpy Bob's racing year almost invariably begins with a ride in the North Bucks Road Club's New Year's Day '10'. Equally invariably, he rides in a severely overweight condition.  This year, his form was further compromised by a severe cold which kept him off his bike for the second half of December. Grumpy Bob was very careful to take heed of two of Team Grumpy's rules:

In particular Rule #1
Remember to make your excuses before the race, not after. Otherwise it will just sound pathetic. 
This specifically noting the first ride with the Pro Disc wheel and his recent illness) and Rule #5
Never train or race with a bad cough – it will destroy your entire season.
Had Grumpy Bob still had that racking cough, he would certainly not have raced (under strict instructions from the Team Manager).

In the end, a combination of apparent recovery and warm conditions encouraged him to ride.  In windy conditions, most (if not all) of the field found it heavy going, particularly those who had been ill or injured ( a surprising proportion).

Grumpy Bob finished in 24:37, to take the overall victory, which wasn't too bad considering the circumstances.  In fact the top three finishers were all within 9 second.

Next race will probably be the annual Team Grumpy cobweb duster 2-up ride in the Port Talbot Wheelers '25' in early March.

Tuesday, 6 December 2011

All else appears to have failed...

It would seem that Team Grumpy is realising that their efforts to improve performance are being thwarted.  During the winter off-season, the team has moved swiftly through Team Grumpy Rules 1 to 3, landing squarely at
4. And if rule #3 fails, new skinsuits are probably a good option.
Armed with astonishingly slinky new Castelli skinsuits, Team Grumpy is assured of phenomenal success in the 2012 season.

Maybe.

Sunday, 20 November 2011

Better not tell the Team Manager...

Grumpy Bob's winter training programme is going completely according to schedule.  This is good, but Grumpy Bob isn't too complacent: everything was looking good last year, until he ricked his back in an unnecessary tandem parking incident in early February.  That set the scene for a season beset by injury and illness.
In contrast, reports making it back to Team Grumpy HQ indicate that not only is 'Grumpy' Art Vanderlay taking it a bit easy (having been a bit ill recently), but he's taken to hiding away in his shed with a bunch of chums down the village and drinking copious quantities of official energy drink.  Nevertheless, 'Grumpy' Art claims to be making great strides in form, relating by email that

I went out for a spin today - hardly expecting much - and demolished my best ever time on my 'test' hill. This is the one that I just managed to get under 5 mins on before heading out to the Duo. Anyway, today I did my first ever sub 4 min. ride on it (3m 57s).
This claim is regarded with some suspicion back at Team Grumpy HQ, where it has been suggested that 'Grumpy' Art was abducted briefly by aliens while out on his bike.  Meanwhile, the Team Grumpy riders are keeping schtum about 'Grumpy' Art's energy drink consumption, lest the Team Manager find out.

Wednesday, 9 November 2011

Everything's gone a bit quiet...

As is usually the case, Team Grumpy has gone rather moribund in the offseason.  From Grumpy Bob's perspective, 2011 was a dreadful season, rescued only by Team Grumpy's second place in the Corporate category of the Duo Normand.  And it has to be said that the team's performance was really a bit strained.  Firstly the weather was completely atrocious and was quite definitely the worst Team Grumpy had seen in eight outings at the Duo.  To add insult to injury, Grumpy Bob rode the event with a cold, the third such affliction during 2011.

This meant Grumpy Bob rolled off the end of the season somewhat earlier than expected and had an enforced lay-off from cycling of any kind.  Indeed the only connection with Team Grumpy related activities was the continued consumption of Leffe.

All that changed as Grumpy Bob swept into October, began his winter training programme, and aimed to build up for the annual New Year's Day '10'.  We shall see if starting so early proves a good move or bad, but at the moment Grumpy Bob feels quite good.  Perhaps 2012 will match 2010 and leave 2011 as a distant fading memory...

Friday, 7 October 2011

Team Grumpy videos

Team Grumpy now has a YouTube channel.  The highly qualified Team Grumpy IT support team has contrived to upload only two videos thus far, though no doubt more will follow.

Thursday, 22 September 2011

2011 Duo Normand report

On the back of a frankly lacklustre season, Team Grumpy were uncertain how things would go for them at the 2011 edition of the Duo Normand, the 30th time the event has been run (and the 8th in which Team Grumpy has competed.  Clear weather at sunrise soon disappeared at the mercy of oncoming cloud and wind - Team Grumpy looked apprehensively upwards and saw signs that the forecast heavy showers might well come true.  The team drove over to Marigny under darkening skies and rising winds, arriving in time to wander down to the start ramp to watch some of the non-licence teams start their race.  Not much sign of the usual crowds, but it was still early.

Back to the car to set up the bikes for a warmup before the scheduled TG start time of 10.41am.  Unfortunately, as 'Grumpy' Art Vanderlay and Grumpy Bob rolled away, the rain began.  And not some light drizzly sort of rain: this was the real deal of 'heavens opening' - made worse by 'Grumpy' Art's error in leaving his rain jacket back at the cottage some 16 kms away.. Both riders were rapidly drenched.

To make matters even worse, 'Grumpy' Art's bike developed a ghastly clanking from the bottom bracket area.  Despite this sort of thing being a regular part of Team Grumpy's annual foray into French racing, a hasty retreat to the team cars was made (the Team Manager actually thought we had decided not to ride), and a raid of Grumpy Bob's toolbox for remedial action was made.  Unfortunately, nothing seemed to actually respond to tightening.  But this did give both riders an opportunity to swap from sunglasses to low light lenses, without which vision would have been difficult at best...

Team Grumpy clanked off towards to the start area.  By the time they climbed onto the start ramp, both riders were shaking uncontrollably with cold and wet.  It was something of a relief to start the race!  The Team Grumpy game plan for the initial kilometres involved 'Grumpy' Art leading the team up the start lane, then for Grumpy Bob to take a lengthy spell while 'Grumpy' Art recovered from the gasping induced by his start effort.  In fact Grumpy Bob found himself pounding down the bocage lanes at speeds of around 30mph, and, due to volume of precipitation, unable to see further than a couple of metres ahead.

Team Grumpy leave the start ramp in less than ideal conditions...

Once Team Grumpy reached the first turn, they operated rather more as a well-organised team, although (it has to be said) not in their usual neat style.  The second aspect of the game plan was to capitalise on the faster early kilometres, and trying to hang in there through the hillier sections. As a plan this seemed to fare reasonably well, though the climbs before Marigny are always harder than Team Grumpy remembers.  The course was littered with fragments of water-sodden dossards, in some cases ground to a pulpy splurge by car tyres (Team Grumpy prepared their numbers with clear gaffer tape as soon as rain seemed likely, and consequently were one of the few teams in the Corpo category to finish with readable numbers).

By this time Team Grumpy, who as usual were riding without a support car, had experienced more trouble than usual with traffic on the course, and not just support cars, but extraneous vehicles waved onto the course in front of them and in one instance a milk tanker.  What really took the biscuit was the minor traffic jam experienced while getting through Marigny, followed by the usual traffic jams on the remaining hairpin section of the course during which Team Grumpy found itself frequently crossing the mid-line of the road to pass slower teams and their cars.

After what seemed like an eternity (both riders clearly flagging), Team Grumpy reached the turn and embarked on the final effort to the finish.  The finish was reached in a last ditch effort, with the line crossed at 40mph and followed by the usual frantic braking to stop before the barriers.

Team Grumpy finished in second place in the Corporatif category with 1:24:51 (this was 95th fastest of about 320 finishers in the 54.3km course, this includes riders from professionals downwards).

Sunday, 18 September 2011

Duo Normand 2011

Well, the promised weather arrived in buckets!  The downpour started as Team Grumpy began the warmup, and didn't really let up after that.   What with the now traditional mechanical cockup with 'Grumpy' Art's bike (which emitted alarming clanks all the way round the course) and the fact the Grumpy Bob couldn't actually see the road much of the time, Team Grumpy had a tough old time out there today.  Team Grumpy finished second in the Corporatifs category.  As this is typed, the elites are still out there on the course, with even stronger winds than Team Grumpy suffered.

Sherrin/Fagan (Network Rail) 1:20:18
Saunders/Oram a.k.a. Team Grumpy (Open University) 1:24:51
Bibby/Ferri (Micar Computers Ltd) 1:25:07

Full report to follow once Team Grumpy returns to Blighty and stronger internet connections.