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Friday 22 February 2013

Team Grumpy 'must pull themselves together'

News reaches Team Grumpy HQ that the Chief of Luxembourg Cycling has told Radioshack-Leopard rider Andy Schleck he must pull himself together after a winter in which he didn't work hard enough (Luxemburg cycling chief: Andy Schleck must pull himself together | CyclingNews.com).

By an astonishing coincidence both riders in Team Grumpy have likewise seen (albeit less unaccountable) loss of form during the off-season, and are expected to experience a serious motivational speech from the Team Manager when the team regroups for the annual embarrassment that is the first 2-up of the season. Both Grumpy Bob and 'Grumpy' Art Vanderlay have apparently been exchanging plaintive text messages in a vain attempt to explain their lack of early season form. In particular, they both claim to have been ill for what seems like an eternity. The Team Manager is expected to demand doctors' notes for both riders.

On the other hand, it may be worth noting Team grumpy Rule #1:
Remember to make your excuses before the race, not after. Otherwise it will just sound pathetic.


Friday 1 February 2013

Aargh! Another Team Grumpy omnishambles to come?

Team Grumpy has been neglecting this blog of late. Partly that because both riders have been astonishingly busy, but it's also because both riders have been laid low with what appears to be the same illness. Before anyone's tongues wag too fast, Team Grumpy would like to observe that both riders have been located at the opposite ends of the country since the TG omnishambles that was The 2012 Duo Normand.

For both 'Grumpy' Art and Grumpy Bob were afflicted by a ghastly feverish heavy cough that lasted about two weeks in Grumpy Bob's case, but a bit less for 'Grumpy' Art, who sought medical assistance. In any event, both suffered an extended period of post-viral fatigue that has kept TG from training for about 5 weeks.

With the now traditional first TG 2-up of the season looming in about 6 weeks time, it merely remains for TG to discover whether their form will bounce back or, more likely, grovel back. 'Grumpy' Art has already started making his excuses, thereby following Team Grumpy Rule #1 "Remember to make your excuses before the race, not after. Otherwise it will just sound pathetic" with extraordinary enthusiasm. He also made grim references to faking a mechanical in this year's Port Talbot Wheelers 2-up '25' (the event in question).