First Open event of 2017 entered

The Team has entered its traditional season opener, the Port Talbot Wheelers 2-up '25' in south Wales on 12th March, on the Resolven-based course R25/24. As usual, this will form part of a weekend with the equally traditional preparation which involves conspicuous consumption of curry and Belgian energy drink. On the equipment front, Grumpy Bob's SRAM eTap system on his primary TT bike is once again functional, after a two month wait for a replacement part. So no equipment excuses there. And both Grumpy Bob and Grumpy Art have been engaging in some serious turbo training. So, perhaps unwisely, Grumpy Bob is exhibiting signs of optimism.

Port Talbot Wh 2-up '25' 15/3/15

The Port Talbot Wheelers 2-up ’25’ has been a regular fixture on the Team Grumpy calendar for a number of years. As usual, the two evenings prior to the event were characterised by conspicuous consumption of Leffe and curry. This was an acceptable preparation, since both members of Team Grumpy had seen their pre-season training somewhat derailed by illness. The team also avoided any serious bike tinkering on the day before the race. Indeed, the only issues needing dealt with were (a) "Grumpy" Art’s disc wheel needed to be replaced with his trispoke owing to braking issues, and (b) Grumpy Bob's left shoe wouldn’t clip onto his pedal. This turned out to be due to tiny fleck of mud in the shoeplate springs! Pretty quickly all was in order.

This year’s event (as in recent years) was held on the R25/25, which runs down the A465 dual carriageway from Resolven to its first turn at the Tonna roundabout, back up the A465 past the start to turn left down the B4242, turning at Ynysygerwen to finish some way past the Resolven junction. Usually the dual carriageway section is quickest, with the B4242 being quite slow, owing to its hilly nature.

The morning of the event was pretty cold and bitter, despite being far from frosty. But with long sleeved thermal vests under the skinsuits and decent gloves, Team Grumpy were pretty much set. New kit this year included new aero hats and the addition of Nopinz number pockets on the back of our skinsuits. The Nopinz pockets seem pretty good, though getting the number in place is a bit fiddly. No pin damage to expensive skinsuits, though!

After a brief warmup, Team Grumpy lined up and were off. Though not before an unfortunate wobble made Grumpy Bob worry about a start line collision. The outbound leg to the first turn was very quick, with a stiff tailwind. The Team had planned for Grumpy Bob to take some long pulls at the front to avoid "Grumpy" Art's breathing issues in the cold air – as it turned out, Grumpy Bob took longer turns at the front throughout the race, as "Grumpy" Art was still suffering the aftereffects of his recent cold.

All too soon, Team Grumpy reached the first turn, which was dealt in good style, and set off back up the dual carriageway into the headwind. For most of this leg, this just slowed them down, but for the last two miles or so, Grumpy Bob found his Hed Stinger a bit of a handful. No real difficulty or danger, though. Round the second turn and the intrepid team joined the hilly road southbound. This part of the course features some shocking road surfaces (on at least three occasions, Grumpy Bob heard his team mate grumping about some hole or other that he’d cycled through!), and some pretty stiff climbs. Team Grumpy made good progress to the third and final turn before heading back to finish in 1:03:16.

Team Grumpy wasn’t too disappointed with the time – it’s a tough course, and anyway, the team's 2-up technique was pretty well oiled throughout, with both riders making appropriate accommodation to the strengths of the other. In any event, Team Grumpy were 15th team out of a full field of 60 teams (only three teams didn’t start), and won third composite team.

Team Grumpy in action. Photo copyright Pete Hamer

Aargh! Another Team Grumpy omnishambles to come?

Team Grumpy has been neglecting this blog of late. Partly that because both riders have been astonishingly busy, but it's also because both riders have been laid low with what appears to be the same illness. Before anyone's tongues wag too fast, Team Grumpy would like to observe that both riders have been located at the opposite ends of the country since the TG omnishambles that was The 2012 Duo Normand.

For both 'Grumpy' Art and Grumpy Bob were afflicted by a ghastly feverish heavy cough that lasted about two weeks in Grumpy Bob's case, but a bit less for 'Grumpy' Art, who sought medical assistance. In any event, both suffered an extended period of post-viral fatigue that has kept TG from training for about 5 weeks.

With the now traditional first TG 2-up of the season looming in about 6 weeks time, it merely remains for TG to discover whether their form will bounce back or, more likely, grovel back. 'Grumpy' Art has already started making his excuses, thereby following Team Grumpy Rule #1 "Remember to make your excuses before the race, not after. Otherwise it will just sound pathetic" with extraordinary enthusiasm. He also made grim references to faking a mechanical in this year's Port Talbot Wheelers 2-up '25' (the event in question).

Port Talbot Wh 2-up '25'

As is now usual, Team Grumpy prepared intensively for the 48h prior to this event: a preparation which entails consumption of takeaway curry and Belgian beer, while sitting on a sofa watching TV.  Team Grumpy dispensed with rule #2, by tinkering with 'Grumpy' Art's chainring bolts the day before the race.  On the morning of the event both riders woke feeling surprisingly chipper considering the quantity of preparation, but were were somewhat disappointed to see thick fog blanketing southern Wales.  Fortunately the weather lifted, leaving clear sunny conditions with a light but rising wind by the time the team convoy reached the race HQ at Resolven.

PTW 2-up '25' - preview part 2

Well, in the run up to the first 2-up of the year Team Grumpy members have suffered illness ('Grumpy' Art) and injury (Grumpy Bob).  So, not ideal preparation.  The arrival of the start sheet for the Port Talbot Wheelers 2-up '25' brings with it a field of 51 teams, which is not at all bad for an early season 2-up.  And some of those teams are pretty swift.

In the face of such competition, Team Grumpy plans as usual to utilise the usual preparation: takeaway curries and conspicuous consumption of official energy drink (Pop Belge) during the 48 hours prior to the event.  Team Grumpy feels that this, coupled with lengthy stints of sofa-sitting, will be more than adequate last-minute preparation for the race.

Maybe.

At least Team Grumpy has taken the precaution of new skinsuits. Of course, any benefits that may accrue from that purchase might depend wholly on whether Grumpy Bob can actually squeeze his winter bulk into the skinsuit.  Perhaps this represents an underhand strategy to upset and distract the opposition.

PTW 2-up '25' - preview

Just two weeks to go before Team Grumpy's first outing for the 2012 season.  Grumpy Bob and the Team Manager will be visiting South Wales to regroup with 'Grumpy' Art Vanderlay and ride the now traditional season opener, the Port Talbot Wheelers 2-up '25'.

This year's event seems to be a week later than usual, though whether that will bring balmier conditions remains to be seen.  In previous events, the riders have contended with snow, hail, rain and cold.  But not all together.  The course is about 50% dual carriageway, with the rest being undulating single carriageway: hopefully the road surface will have been attended to since the 2011 event, when there were potholes galore. And roadwork traffic lights.

Team Grumpy have got a decent track record in this event, but recent years have seen a dip in form due to defects in training due to pressure of work and/or illness.  It remains to be seen how well Team Grumpy has survived the winter training regime... It is worth noting that riding the PTW event with a cold was the source of Team Grumpy rule #5: "Never train or race with a bad cough - it will destroy your entire season".

Grumpy Bob is pretty optimistic about the likely TG form.  However, he is aware that there are two weeks to go in which some mishap might arise.  Probably the toughest aspect will be restraining 'Grumpy' Art's tendency to conduct pre-event equipment modification.  In the past, we have seen his cassette come to pieces (at the bottom of Neath Bank in the days when the PTW 2-up used the 'cheaty course'), or indexing failure (just about every 2-up), or alarming bottom bracket clanking (e.g. the 2011 Duo), loosening chainset (e.g. the 2010 Duo).

Time Trial performance: an historical perspective

In rebuilding the teamgrumpy.org website, the extensive Team Grumpy IT team revisited some accounts of past performance at 2-up time trials, that caused him (for the extensive Team Grumpy IT team is indeed a single individual) some concern.  In particular, one has to only go back three years to the 2008 iteration of the Port Talbot Wheelers 2-up '25' to find Team Grumpy finishing in 57:58.

To put that in perspective, in this year's event Team Grumpy only managed a 1:4:36.  On the same course.  In quite good conditions.

Uncovering this nugget of historical data has not pleased the Team Grumpy Team Manager, who quite frankly seems to be sounding like a stuck record with her mantra.  The Team Manager's opinion is that both Grumpy Bob and 'Grumpy' Art should just knuckle down and deliver 400 watts.

With such clear leadership we cannot fail, despite our tales of injury and illness. 

Aaargh! Literally. (OK, so it's all gone pear-shaped).

As usual, Grumpy Bob rode to work on Monday.  Also as usual, he was on a tandem cycle, and accompanied by his stoker, who just so happens to be the Team Grumpy team manager, famous for requesting 400W in a bluff Bjarne Riis style.  Anyway, upon arriving, Grumpy Bob parked the tandem in the narrow bike shed, and in so doing wrenched his lower back to the point of agony.

Port Talbot Wheelers 2-up '25' preview

Team Grumpy's season kicks off as usual with the Port Talbot Wheelers 2-up '25' on 6th March.  The last report posted on this site was rather encouraging.  Grumpy Bob reported good threshold power levels and good progression in his training.  Similarly, 'Grumpy' Art Vanderlay had been making progress in the winter schedule.

Team Grumpy build-up for first 2-up of 2011

Both members of Team Grumpy have been busily working towards their first 2-up test of 2011 - the Port Talbot Wheelers 2-up '25' on 6th March.

Grumpy Bob has been pounding the turbo, and using the excellent Golden Cheetah software package to monitor progress. His general strategy is not to ride training sessions to specific power targets, but to use the HRM to determine effort, and the power meter to monitor what was actually done, and progress in fitness. Most of Grumpy Bob's real training (i.e. the really hardcore 'eyeballs-out' sessions) is done on the turbo. After the setbacks of a persistent cold during October and all that horrible snow in December, he's feeling pretty good at the moment, with a resting HR around 43bpm and a critical power estimated at about 300W. Grumpy Bob treats such wattage figures cautiously, knowing that he's really using them as performance comparators on his own training, not with other riders.

On the other hand, Team Grumpy's management, when told that progress was good and that critical power had reached 300W merely echoed Bjarne Riis' sacred dictum: "Give me 400W!". Oh well.

On the other side of the country, it sounds as though Grumpy Art Vanderlay has been making strides as well [GAV: well, it's more general conditioing work really, but I do feel surprisingly good and the odd bit of high intensity work that I've done has gone off very easily]. Notably, he's acquired a new TT bike (road testing indicates it's pretty fast), and the new position is reputed to have unleashed an additional 12W. Or something. [GAV: proof will be in the eating, of course. But there is a consistency about the extra power across a number of sessions already, so I'm hopeful. If the last two years are anything to go on, though, I need more than an extra 12 watts] It brings a new twist to the "buying speed" accusation Team Grumpy has faced over the years.

Grumpy Bob's Year in Cycling

Grumpy Bob has reviewed his cycling activities during 2010 over at flies&bikes (My year in cycling).  On the whole, a good year with performances at 10, 25 and 50 miles that topped his rides in the last five or six years.
Oh, and has anyone mentioned the Duo Normand?

Port Talbot Wheelers 2-up '25' preview

It's that time of year, when Grumpy Bob unearths last year's entry forms and updates them to take into account his parlous performances of the previous year. 2010 is no exception, with the 2009 season not having been successful, mostly through having too much work, but also (and very sadly) as a result of the tragedy on the F1 last spring which dented Grumpy Bob's enthusiasm for racing for a while. The content of the entry form for the PTW 2-up has traditionally generated emails dripping with derision and sarcasm from "Grumpy" Art, though he has been mysteriously (and ominously) silent this year. See below for the probably explanation.

Team Grumpy bounced back for a reasonable performance at the Duo Normand, though they did get a serious drubbing from the winning BikeRadar team. As usual, Team Grumpy's season will kick off with the Port Talbot Wheelers 2-up '25' on the R25/24 course along the Neath Valley. This isn't the epic "Cheaty Course" on which PBs come thick and fast (and on which this event used to be run), but a neat little course at the bottom of the hill.

The course divides into two sections, with the first half heading south on the dual carriageway from the race HQ and back, turning onto a delightful back road to head south and back again. The DC section is always quite peaceful, while the second half undulates quite a bit, but runs alongside the old canal and through some small villages. Actually, this makes the second half rather more hazardous - last year saw a real Two Ronnies moment with a bloke carrying an unfeasibly long spirit level crossing the road with 2-up teams bearing down on him from both directions.

All in all it's a nice event, despite the frequent dodginess of the early season weather. The HQ, which is in a Working Men's Club, is spacious (if a little chilly), and the organising club and other riders always seem particularly chatty and friendly. Unfortunately this year, the Team Grumpy Centenary Season, we are starting out in less than ideal conditions - Grumpy Bob feels quite fit but is seriously overweight while "Grumpy" Art has likened his present condition to that of a walrus.

Still, four weeks to go, plenty of time...

The Port Talbot Wheelers 2-up '25' will be on the 7th March (at a very civilised start time of 10.00am), and uses the R25/24 course. Still plenty of time to enter!