Tennis

Rumours that Team Grumpy plan to eschew the 2013 Duo Normand in favour of seeking a Wimbledon doubles wild card entry are entirely unfounded. Team Grumpy are insufficiently coordinated for ball games.

Congratulations to Marray and Nielsen!

400 Watts

Here's a brief video clip featuring Grumpy Bob near the end of the Norlond TT Combine 50 mile time trial, and featuring the Team Grumpy Manager uttering her familiar refrain:

UCI unveils 'No Needle Policy" - bottle openers next?

Hot on the heels of ludicrous rulings (for example the silly 'aero shoes' ruling), and the not so silly ruling (for example the race radio propsals which have so enraged the pro teams), the UCI have now announced a very sensible 'No Needle Policy' ahead of the upcoming Giro d'Italia (UCI unveils No Needle Policy | road.cc).
While Team Grumpy clearly applauds this move to limit the likelihood of illicit drug abuse in the pro peleton, it does raise questions as to where the policy will lead.  Team Grumpy only competes in one UCI controlled event on a regular basis (the Duo Normand), though occasionally (and when not organising it) 'Grumpy' Art Vanderlay rides in the BTTC time trial championsip, so these regulations don't often impact on the team's activities.
The team does however, maintain an enthusiastic, if non-commercial association with the products of the Leffe Abbey brewery: the official energy drink of the team being Leffe, which Grumpy Bob and 'Grumpy' Art consume whenever possible (though, it has to be said, not so copiously as they advance in years).  Team Grumpy are concerned that the UCI's continued efforts to protect riders' health and well-being might in future extend to banning crown cap bottle openers. Of course even with the banning of such bottle openers, the Team Grumpy manager is confident that her riders will still be able continue to consume energy drink, since the large bottles in fact have champagne-style cork closures.

Retro UCI regulations enforced...

So, the UCI has revealed (Bont Crono to be banned from UCI competition | BikeRadar.com) that using these shoes:

contravenes regulations about clothing being used for aerodynamic purposes, but wearing these over your shoes does not:

Team Grumpy wonders where this anal retentive and ludicrously regressive attitude will take the UCI.  The regulation reads:

“It is forbidden to wear non-essential items of clothing or items designed to influence the performances of a rider such as reducing air resistance or modifying the body of the rider (compression, stretching, support).
"Items of clothing or equipment may be considered essential where weather conditions make them appropriate for the safety or the health of the rider. In this case, the nature and texture of the clothing or equipment must be clearly and solely justified by the need to protect the rider from bad weather conditions. Discretion in this respect is left to the race commissaires.
"Equipment (helmets, shoes, jerseys, shorts, etc) worn by the rider may not be adapted to serve any other purpose apart from that of clothing or safety by the addition or incorporation of mechanical or electronic systems which are not approved as technical innovations under article 1.3.004.” 

 Team Grumpy wonders why tribars, disk wheels, trispokes, pointy hats and skinsuits are permissible under this regulation, but not the Bont shoes.  Unless, of course the banishment is on sartorial grounds.  Having said that Grumpy Bob feels that this season's excess bodymass renders his skinsuit particularly offensive under that criterion.

The Team Manager (who has been posted on gardening leave over the recent Bank Holidays, therefore curtailing demands for 400 watts), will no doubt be scouring the UCI regulations, and in particular article 1.3.004.

Facial expressions in Time Trials

Grumpy Bob just (and rather fortuitously) came across Tom's Cycling Blog this morning. He particularly liked his analysis of facial expressions while time trialling, and wondered how Tom managed the photos without laughing.

Having looked at photos of Team Grumpy on the Duo Normand start ramp, Grumpy Bob thinks the pre-event expression is worthy of analysis. Grumpy Bob is alarmed at his peculiar simpering expression (particularly with the chap in the dodgy T-shirt apparently servicing him from behind), but also at "Grumpy" Art Vanderlay's frankly quite scary expression of fixed determination. Or maybe that's a mixture of relief that "that guy" is once again not behind him and fear of falling off the start ramp...